Today in class my English teacher explained that the word ejaculate used to mean shout. A girl in my class immediately responded, “So the Beatles song could of been ‘Twist and Ejaculate?’”
[[MORE]] Today was the worst birthday. I’ve spent the last hour in tears, I have a stress headache, my anxiety is causing my asthma to act up, and I feel like the biggest failure. I’m an adult now, I can’t hide from my problems But I don’t know how to fix it.
smalltownbigguy: in the south we don’t say “you’re a dumb fuck” we say “bless your heart” and i think that’s beautiful.
Me: * sees book store * *looks to friend* *shuffles towards bookstore*
Sometimes I wonder how many people are theatre...
whatshouldtheatrecallme: everdeen13: Reblog if you enjoy theatre. Any musical. Any straight play. If there is a single one you like, reblog.
corgisandboobs: rangerkimmy: gendertier: gendertier: gendertier: i jUST WALKED INTO MY MOMS ROOM AND THERE’S A DACHSHUND IN HERE WE DON’T OWN A DACHSHUND???? ???????? okay this dog is so sweet but where is my mom omfg that is your mom Directed by M. Night Shyamalan. This is like Brave…have you been to visit any witches lately?
*opens blank tab* yes mom im doing my homework leave me alone dont you trust me at all
Drowning in stress right now, yet I can't find the...
dealin-with-a-reaper: choc-o-late: est-offensa-et-mirari: deppsydoodle: deppsydoodle: why is peter pan always flying? he neverlands I love this joke because it never grows old It has a nice hook. It ticks to its own rhythm
xoblainchel: bradisourking: WHO KNEW YOU COULD SEE THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN FROM WMHS IN LIMA OHIO AND THE WIRE ON A CAMERA AND LOTS OF PALM TREES
macarena-of-time: my personality varies from unbearably clingy to disturbingly distant and there is no inbetween
That awkward long pause after the first line of I Will Always Love You when I can’t tell if Whitney is just being Whitney or if YouTube is buffering
Sometimes I feel like everyone on Tumblr belongs in some sort of psychiatric ward…
postmaker: bebroom: does anyone have any good tips for getting over boys how tall are the boys?
bec-the-dog-and-jade-the-human: giraffescanflytoo: kurdtkocaine: so my brother was doing something weird in the front yard in his underwear??? and the next thing i know…… Do you live in a Sims game IM LAUGING SO HARD RN BECAUSE THAT IA THE MOST ACCURATE REPREAENTATIONS OF SIM S I CAN THINK OF